As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As we enter into marriage, we may wonder how we ever lived life without our mate. We're focused on each other, and that makes us close. However, the longer we're married, our focus tends to turn to jobs, bills, or children and less on each other. Unfortunately, this causes many marriages to turn cold and some eventually die. Have you ever wondered how people stay married for 30, 40, or more years? Do you want your marriage to last a lifetime? The key is to stay focused on your mate. Here are some ways for you to show your husband your love. Choose at least five every day and watch your marriage blossom into a wonderful relationship!
1. TEXT HIM A LOVE MESSAGE
2. DO ONE OF HIS CHORES FOR HIM
Pick a chore that he dreads, such as mowing the lawn, and do it for him. Watch him as he sighs with relief. (Pappy loves it when I mow the yard and he doesn't have to do it...plus...if you push mow....think of the exercise you're getting!!!)
When your husband works hard, or does something for you, let him know you appreciate him.
(I've truly tried to do this one...especially, since I've quit work and he tries to work several hours OT each week to help out with the bills...and give us a little extra spending $$$)
4. MAKE YOUR HOME HIS REFUGE
Let your home be a haven where your husband can retreat from the stresses of life. Do your best to make it a pleasant environment.
6. PRAY FOR HIM
Ask God to give him that extra boost to make everything OK. Let your husband hear you pray too. This will let him know that when you can't make it right, you'll ask someone who can.
(when I hear the garage door go up in the mornings, and Pappy is heading to work....I pray for his safety...and for security of his job!!!
7. CHECK BEFORE THROWING THINGS AWAY
If your husband has some things that seem useless to you, don't trash them until you've made sure he doesn't need them.
(this one I learned the hard way...don't ask!!!)
8. CHECK BEFORE REARRANGING
Ask your husband if it's OK before you move or straighten things on his desk or work area. If he has things where it's easy to find, it might make it chaotic if it's moved.
(without being mean....I wouldn't even know where to start rearranging...so I just don't touch it!!!)
9. DON'T EXPECT HIM TO READ YOUR MIND
If there is something you want your husband to know about you, tell him. Don't expect him to just know what you're thinking or what you need.
(I truly believe this is a MAJOR DIFFERENCE between men and women....don't all women expect their husbands to just automatically know without being told...no matter what it is?!?!?)
10. LAUGH TOGETHER
Forget you're adults for awhile, and just act silly together. Also, if something should go awry, try to find some humor in it somewhere. This will also reduce the stress of the situation.
(this is something that we used to do a lot when Jess was little....not so much in recent years....I'm gonna work on this one!!!)
11. RESIST THE URGE TO SNOOP
Don't sneak around and check up on your husband, if you want to know something, ask him to his face.
(TRUST, TRUST, TRUST!!!)
12. GIVE HIM A ROMANTIC CARD
Don't wait for a special occasion to give him a card. Find the most romantic card you can find and leave it in his car. Don't forget to add your own personal message! Maybe you'll even make him nervous, wondering if he forgot an anniversary!
(I haven't done this one in a while!!)
13. PACK HIS FAVORITE TREAT
Buy his favorite candy bar or other treat, and pack it in his lunch with a love note.
14. TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER
This is self-explanatory.
(no personal comment on this one....a girl can't give away all her secrets!!!)
15. LET HIM BUY THAT TOY
Permit him to buy that toy he's been wanting so badly. Better yet, put some of your own things off, save the money and buy it for him yourself!
(oh, I wish I had the funds to do this one for Pappy!!)
16. TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE
The future isn't as far away as it seems sometimes. Talk about where you'd like to be when you're married 50 years, and work on making those dreams happen.
17. GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
Don't jump to conclusions if your husband has said or done something questionable. Give him the chance to explain before you pass judgement. (I think this comes with maturity....being married quite a while....and again TRUST, TRUST, TRUST!!!)
18. LET HIM BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
Although this is growing increasingly unpopular, it does still work. Just because your husband is in charge of the household doesn't mean that you can't share your opinions, it just means he's captain of the team.
(very difficult for strong-willed women....but it can happen....with practice...just ask me!!!)
19. SAY, "I'M SORRY"
Although you may not want to admit it, there will be times when you're in the wrong. Maybe you've said something hurtful or done something insensitive. Never have too much pride to tell him you're sorry.
(don't have a problem with this one!!!)
20. WRITE A NOTE ON THE STEAMED-UP BATHROOM MIRROR
While your husband is showering, sneak in and write, "I love you" on the steamed-up bathroom mirror.
21. LET BYGONES BE BYGONES
If your husband has done or said something to hurt you, forgive him. Don't keep bringing up the past every time you get into a disagreement, especially if he has shown remorse.
(this one takes a lot of practice...and maturity, too....I should know!!!)
22. BE HONEST
Don't hide things from your husband. Be open and transparent. This will help him trust you more.
23. BRAG ON HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS
Men naturally rely on boost in their ego now and then in order to stay confident. Let him hear you tell others about the great things he says and does.
24. CLEAN HIS CAR FOR HIM
Surprise him by giving his car a good detailed cleaning. If you don't want to tackle it yourself, have it professionally done.
25. PUT HIS PICTURE IN WALLPAPER
Let him know that you still think he's a gorgeous hunk by putting his picture on your computer desktop!
26. WORSHIP TOGETHER
The couple who prays together, stays together. These will be very tender and special moments shared between the two of you, as well as important.
(AMEN to this one!!! This is something that Pappy and I didn't do for many years....but once we started praying together...out loud...it really made a difference in our relationship!!!)
27. EAT BY CANDLELIGHT
Cook his favorite meal and light the candles. Take time to focus on each other.
28. BE DEVOTED TO HIM
One of the greatest gifts that you could ever give your husband is your true faithfulness. This includes physically, emotionally, and in your thoughts. If you're struggling with temptation, nip it in the bud. Tell him your feelings in a sensitive and loving way. Don't bottle anything up, this is asking for disaster.
29. RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR
Or massage his temples if he doesn't have any. Do this while he relaxes. Remember, your touch is important to him.
30. DON'T CONTRADICT HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS
This will only embarrass him and cause people to lose respect. This is especially important if you have children.
31. DON'T CRITICIZE HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS
If you feel that your husband needs a bit of constructive criticism, make sure it's just that - constructive. Don't offer it at all unless it's in a loving way, and in private. Being criticized in front of others lowers self esteem and causes hurt feelings.
32. DEFEND HIM
Don't let others disrespect your husband. Even just a snide comment can hurt. Stick up for him. Don't let someone drive into the ground the most important person in your life.
33. LOVE YOURSELF
Many times we as women hold back on our husbands because of our own insecurities. Learn to let it go. The things that we're so worried about, usually don't even bother him. What bothers him is when we hold back. Remember, although this may sound strange, you can't really love someone until you love yourself.
(work in progress!!!)
34. PAMPER HIM WHEN HE'S SICK
Men love to be pampered, especially when they're sick. Make sure everything is comfortable and that he has his "special soup."
35. LOOK HIM IN THE EYES
Look your husband straight in the eyes when he talks to you. Not only will this show that you're interested in what he has to say, but there is something about looking straight into his eyes that will give you butterflies.
36. DISPLAY YOUR MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Frame the sacred document of your marriage. This will be a wonderful and constant reminder that your love is sealed, and you really do belong to each other.
(hanging on our bedroom wall!!!)
37. DON'T GO TO BED MAD
Although you've probably heard this one for years, and it may have been your grandmother's firstmarriage advice to you, it is still true. Going to bed hurt or angry keeps feelings under the surface. When you wake up you don't want to continue the argument, so you you hold in your frustrations and they begin to mount. It's best to talk everything out, and fall asleep in each other's arms.
(I love the saying "Always Kiss Me Goodnight"....and I bought a sign that says that for Pappy for our anniversary one year....and that's something that we ALWAYS try to do before going to sleep....how can you stay mad if you're being kissed by the man you love??!?!?)
38. DON'T COMPARE HIM
Don't EVER, EVER compare your husband to another man - not even your father. Your husband is his own person and unique in his own ways. Love him for it.
(sad to say....in the past I was guilty of this one!!!)
39. GREET HIM AT THE DOOR
Don't wait for your husband to say, "Honey, I'm home!" Watch for him, and greet him at the door with a hug and kiss.
40. DEDICATE A SONG TO HIM
Did you have a song that was "your song" while you were dating?
41. GRAB A KISS WHILE YOU WAIT
Kiss your husband while you're waiting at the stoplight or in the food drive-through. Your wait won't seem near as long, and you may wish it could last a littler longer!
(I like this one....and I've done it!!!)
42. BE HIS BEST FRIEND
Let him feel confident that you'll always be there when needs to talk, to laugh, or even cry. Let him be free to be himself at all times and stick with him through the thick and thin.
43. CHERISH THE SMALL THINGS
Concentrate on the way he walks, the way he talks, his smile, or the way he says your name. These are really more important than you think, and no one can do it quite like him.
(As I've gotten older....I sometimes think about things that I would miss if something were to happen to Pappy....sad thought, I know, but it makes me concentrate more on him NOW....before it's too late!!!)
44. KEEP YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE
It's easy to fall into a "house wife" mode and just walk around in "cleaning clothes" with your hair twisted into a mess. That's OK while your actually cleaning, but try to be more presentable by the time your husband sees you. Bathe, put on clean clothes and a dab of perfume, and set your hair nice.
(this one....I've gotta work on!!!)
45. LOOK OUT FOR HIS HEALTH
Encourage your husband to get plenty of sleep and exercise. Try to get him to keep medical and dental appointments. Cook healthy meals, and give him nutritional supplements.
46. SPLURGE OCCASIONALLY
Although money is a precious commodity to many couples, try to find a way to splurge on something now and then. If you can't afford a trip, find a hotel in or near your hometown with a jacuzzi. If it's still too costly, buy something that you both would enjoy, like a new CD.
47. WORK ON YOUR WAYS
It's easy to see and point out flaws in your husband, but if you're honest, you'll realize that you haven't earned a halo yet. Try to work on your own shortcomings and make yourself a better person.
(this one was meant just for me!!!)
48. SEEK HIS ADVICE
Ask for your husband's input and advice on anything from children to what he might like to eat. This will let him know he's needed and that his thoughts are important.
49. SHOP FOR HIM
When you run to the store, see if there is something that you should pick up for him.
50. DON'T TALK HIS LEG OFF IF HE'S TIRED
If your husband is tired and you need to talk to him, go straight to the bottom line and spare the details.
51. JUST SAY IT
Make it a point to say the words I love you every single day, and mean it.
Oh man, I've gotten in trouble over #7 MANY MANY MANY times..perhaps I should have learned after the first few times ya think?ReplyDelete
#44!! I have to bathe?!?!? Man, this is going to be harder than I thought!ReplyDelete
Rhonda...if you read this...you're hilarious!!! I threw away a few too many of Pappy's things before I learned my lesson, too!!! I'm thinkin' I might have to start over though...he's TERRIBLE at getting rid of ANYTHING!!! I said if we ever clean out our basement...there's probably things down there that we've not unpacked since we moved here...30 years ago!!! They'll be worth something by now!!!ReplyDelete
this is a really good post! i do think you gave a little TMI! you know you and "pappy" don't run your fingers through one another's hair or take baths. . .YUCK!ReplyDelete
you all are just married and say love you to one another!
he he he.
i'm so happy that you both are still married. what a BLESSING it is this day in age.
love you both so much!