Painting by Abraham Hunter –

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Monday, April 26, 2010

Provoke not.....

.....your children to anger.

Here's the actual verse of scriputure....

Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)
 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

I'm a firm believer that we need to pick and choose what we find is important to discipline our children over.  There are things that we are able to just let slide because they don't really amount to much anyway.....then, there are times that we truly need to let our kids....and grandkids....and nieces and nephews....and any other child we are responsible for....we need to let them know that we aren't happy with their actions, or their choice of words.

Quite often, I'm called on to "counsel".....or to pray for someone.....or to offer advice.  Please know that I certainly have no educational credentials to back up any advice I might give.....it's strictly what I've learned from experience.....and what I feel the Lord leading me to say that's according to His word.  One night last week, as I talked on the phone with someone about a situation in their life....this verse of scripture came to mind.  I really think this scripture can apply to all of us....not just to fathers....or Momma's....in raising their kids....but to all of us in how we handle our relationships with our spouses.....or our friends.....or our co-workers!

  Have you ever known somebody who just seems to want to argue.....no matter what the topic of conversation?!?!?!  They never seem to be happy about anything and find fault in just about everything (in other words they fall into the category of "sandpaper people").  If your opinion differs from theirs....they want to argue their point until one or the other of you gets quite defensive....sometimes even angry.

Here are some personal tips that I've learned from experience.....and some of these I still need to work on myself.....

****If a discussion starts to get a bit heated....either say that this is not the time to discuss this.....or simply tell the other person that you're gonna have to take the time to pray....and walk away!!!  
If the situation is with your child.....before you let your anger get the best of you.....take a deep breath....count to ten.....step into another room.  Don't punish your child while you're angry!!!

****NEVER use harsh words that you'll regret.  We can always say we're sorry....but, the hurt and the damage are already done.

****If it's necessary to continue the conversation with the other person.....then, listen to their "side of the story".....or to their opinion.....even your children!!  They could just have a point to make that you hadn't even thought of.  And....guess what?!?!?.....they could even be right and we could be wrong!!!

****Sometimes we're so adamant to get the point across to our children that "we're the boss".....we take away their need for their independence.  It's difficult sometimes for us to understand why they don't do things exactly as we want them to.  Well, guess what?  They're not us!!!  They are little independent creatures with thoughts and a mind of their own.  Oh, yeah....they'll test us and see what they can get away with....but that's how they learn and grow. 

To make a long story short....let's not make a mountain out of a molehill....instead....let's pick and choose what's really important to continue to discuss.....and in all  relationships.....let's not "provoke your children to anger". 

Remember....we're all a child of God!!!

Blessings to you!!!

In His Most Precious Love....and with mine!!!
  

4 comments:

  1. Thank you!! There are days with my oldest still I really just have to walk away from him. I do think it is just a male thing with him. I am glad he has a female teacher next year and I have been told she is tough. I am beginning to say "yes" more to him just so he can learn from his own mistakes.

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  2. True words here.

    I am reminded of "discussions" with my husband, My youngest kids got mad at me because they say "you just agree with him." I had to help them understand that their Dad was right. In his mind and in his explanation, he was right. I told them there are battles to fight but a difference of opinion does not warrant a battle. Only an open mind.

    Have a wonderful day!

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  3. Very good post. I know with two teens we have these struggles at times. Also another preson inmy family that when on the phone with them I have had to just get off, because most of time she complaining and never positive. Really good reminders on how to handle thanks for sharing.

    ~MICHELE~

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  4. My sweet friend, how precious and so ever true is your post today. I taught Conversation PEACE last summer and it brought together everything you just said. Our WORDS make us who we are....So??????Who do we want to be like? Jesus! Be blessed. Cindy

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Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24