Monday, April 5, 2010

Thrown under the bus

I've been thinking about betrayal lately.
A friend called and asked me to pray for a co-worker of hers because another lady in the office had  thrown her "under the bus".  Another friend used that very same term to describe something that had happened to her on her job.   I just saw on a lady's blog that the same thing had happened to her.  A person she opened up to...confided in....shared secrets with....had decided that their friendship just wasn't worth it.  The same thing happened to me.  A lady who described our friendship as being "soul sisters".....decided that getting ahead in the work place was much more important to her than a true genuine friendship.....which is what I offer when I FINALLY open up enough to allow someone to get close to me!!! 

 I know that each of you reading this probably have your own story to tell about betrayal. 
Maybe it was a best friend.....a spouse.....a family member.....a co-worker.

So.....let me do you handle betrayal?
How do you cope with being "thrown under the bus"?  Are you able to forgive?  How do you forget?  Do you try to continue to be at least friendly with the person? you just cut them out of your life? 

I truly wish I could be like Jesus in one of the phrases he spoke from the cross....

Luke 23:34 (NLT)
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing."

But.....what about those who know exactly what they're doing.....who do know that they're talking about you....saying ugly things about you.....even telling lies about you....saying words sometimes even to your face that cut you to the core?  
How do you cope with "friends"....or even family members.....who only seem to have time for you when they need....or want....something from you? don't hear from them for months on end....even though you try to keep in contact.
Are you able to just speak up and tell them how you feel....or do you let it fester inside?
Have you ever been in a situation where....because you're a Christian....others feel they can mistreat you because you won't speak won't "retaliate", so to speak?

Anybody out there got any suggestions.....or any help you can offer that might help me, and others reading this?

I've enabled my comments....if you have any ideas you would like to share!!

Blessings to you!!!

In His Most Precious Love....and with mine!!!


  1. Recently this happened to me at work with an unbeliever, and I'm still dealing with the consequences. What helped is that I have done everything I can to rectify the situation. I have apologized where necessary and in case I offended them.I kept thinking about the verse ' If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" Ro.12:18 Then I carry on having done all that I could, I remember also this from Ro.15:3 "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me" ,meaning fallen on Christ. I stand in His grace knowing I have done well. Now I will go forward in Him. And trust me I know it isn't easy.

  2. This is something I struggle with all the time. It is hard for me to turn the other cheek when people do know what they are doing to me. I'm glad I'm not the only Christian who feels this way. Thanks so much for this post and I look forward to reading everyone else's comments!

  3. Boy you can sure hit the nail on the head as far as family members who need something but when you need it they aren't there for you, basically. I don't remember being thrown under the bus at work, of course I don't remember a lot of bad things. I believe God gave me the gift to hide them far back in a closet. If I know someone was doing that to me, I would confront them but God also gave us the gift to forgive and we don't really need to talk to them at work except for work stuff. I do let some things fester but also I've learned to just be work friendly or family friendly to those people and nothing more needed to be done, just to keep the peace in me. I've also learned to say no to people and not feel guilty, that was a problem I had long, long time ago, I have had people walk all over me. As it been said "I am still a work in progress, the Lord is working me"!

  4. I do know what I do. If someone can be talked to in a loving way, I do that. If they can't and simply will never change, the Lord has challenged me to love them anyway, even when they are hurting me. I don't put myself in the way of getting hurt, but the Lord has put me in a situation that was truly more than I could bear for two years now. There was no escape...I had to learn to love them or lose my mind.

    That's where my song "Love Is" on my music blog came from. It was a year long battle with hate for me. My rights as a mother and a church member were absolutely trampled on. It was death to self on a level unimagined. Now..I can hardly believe I had become so bitter. It still hurts...they still do it...but it doesn't hurt as bad because my focus is on the Lord. I've learned that God not only loves us unconditionally, but sometimes puts people who cannot do any differently because of their own sin nature and personality, to love unconditionally ourselves. It's one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. But the freedom from bitterness is something I never want to jeopardize again. I pray for your peace and everyone else's too.


Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24