Monday, December 12, 2011

Holding A Grudge!!!


I had a conversation with someone last week and it was all about something that had happened in the past....way, way back in the past.  A statement was made...."I've forgiven, but I can't forget".  Let me back up just a bit....I knew this conversation was going to take place before I received the phone I had prayed for God to give me the right words to say.  The only way that I am able to help someone else is to share my own struggles with whatever the topic might be.  If I've never gone thru what they're troubled with...then, I try to "put myself in their shoes" and in my mind imagine the thoughts and emotions they must be experiencing.  In this particular conversation....I've totally "been there done that".  When the words were spoken "....but I can't forget".....I immediately said that if we don't forget....then, we're holding a grudge.  I was assured that there was no grudge....but I knew better.  And....when I said those words....I knew that God was not only speaking to my friend....but He was revealing something about myself, too!!!

We've all heard these words before....
"if we don't forgive, then we're only hurting ourselves".  
No truer statement was ever spoken!!! For some reason, we feel like if we forgive somebody, then we're condoning what they did.  When we keep on dredging up the past hurts, keeping them fresh in our minds....going over and over them again and that truly forgiving?!? 

I've learned from my own experience....that I HAVE to forgive....and forget.  Somehow, when we truly forgive....way deep down in our spirit....God somehow sees fit to make the bad memories fade....of course getting older and forgetful helps with that, too!!!  
(thought I would try to lighten the mood since this is a deep post....;-)

One thing that I shared are these very appropriate verses of scripture....

Matthew 6:14-15
 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.   But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Often we think...."he/she/they....don't deserve my forgiveness, especially for what they did/said to me....or about me".  Each of our individual situations would probably be different.  
But....guess what?

I did not deserve Jesus dying the absolutest cruelest death one could ever experience....all for my sins.

To show once again what an awesome God we serve....the scripture reference in my devotional the morning I had this conversation with my friend....was this....

I Peter 4:8
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Thank you, my most precious Jesus....for dying on the cross for my sins.  God, You could have made me pay for them myself....but instead You gave Your One and Only Son to die for unworthy me.  Please enter into my heart, dear Lord.....and show me any bitterness I might still be harboring.  Help me to forgive others....just as You've seen fit to forgive me.  I know that all I have to do is ask.
In Jesus' most blessed and Holy Name....AMEN!

In HIS Most Precious Love....and with mine!!!


  1. I love your picture ...the only thing that I think I would correct would be "mind" to "heart"
    It is only by the Spirit not my power or might but the Spirit that I can do this...Isn't He the greatest!

  2. I agree...Your post has brought up a topic I think a lot of folks misunderstand. Christ suffered for ALL sins. He is the judge and not us. We have been commanded to forgive everyone and then place it in HIS hands. Sometimes we think that by refusing to forgive and move on, we will punish the offender, but in reality we punish ourselves spiritually and physically.

    I appreciate you writing about such an important subject.

  3. You are right. Forgiving does not condone what the other person did.

    Forgiving also does not mean that we have to allow it to happen over and over with a specific person. Sometimes we need to get out of a situation.

    You gave me some things to think about here.

    Forgiving is showing mercy to the other person and then placing it in God's hands. It might be that we would have the right to enact some punishment, but we choose not to. We choose to forgive. And forget.

    Forgetting takes time and it's something that we need to seek God's face for. We can forget with God's help.

  4. I forgot something. I am often in a position of needing forgiven. You know - open mouth, stick in foot?

    I want the other person to not give me what I deserve. I want them to forgive me.

    God did it for us with His son Jesus. If we are to be christ-like, we need to be able and willing to forgive.

  5. Thank you for sharing this inspiration. There are often times when I have had a hard time forgiving thankfully my husband is wise in these matters and reminds me to let go of the past.

  6. I found this a little while ago while hunting for something else. I thought it might fit under your post.

    Colossians 3:12-14 the Message

    ". . . . dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you:

    compassion; kindness; humility; quiet strength; and discipline.

    Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.

    Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.

    And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.

    It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."


Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24