Monday, March 30, 2009

Update to.....Wanted: Your Opinion

Romans 12:18 (KJV)
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Where do I even start???
I had intended to write this post for Saturday, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it!!!
I couldn't seem to get my emotions settled down to concentrate on what I wanted to say....what I truly wanted to express from my words that makes some kind of sense to those of you reading this.
On Tuesday of last week, I asked you to comment on the above verse of scripture,
(click here to read the post)
letting me know what your feelings were about it...especially the part about
"if it be possible", and "as much as lieth in you"....
regarding getting along with others.
Some of you left a comment on my blog, and others sent me e-mails. With some of the ones that I got via e-mail...I just sat and cried when reading them.
What prompted me to even ask the question is a situation in my own life....actually more than one....but some of the things that you all have gone thru....just made me hurt for each of you and please know that you've been prayed for.

For as long as I can remember, it's really troubled me when I think that I can't get along with somebody....or, to "live peaceably with all men", as the verse of scripture says. I've always felt that if a friendship ended, then it had to be my fault...and it had to be fixable...that I should be able to get along with EVERYBODY!!!!
I'm learning, and in part from what you all have shared with me...that not everything is fixable....and that I'm certainly not always to blame.
I won't go into detail with some of the stories you all shared...
but I will say this...
I've learned a lot!!
(Yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks!!!)

#1 - Just like we've said before...there's always somebody much worse off than we are. They're going thru, or have already experienced, something far more tragic than what we're facing...but...with the life experience they have, they're able to help others going thru something ME!!!

#2 - Not all relationships are fixable. It takes an effort on the part of everybody involved to make it work, and sometimes one, or both, just don't think it's worth the effort.

#3 - I'm definitely not always to blame...and neither are you.
This statement is not to say that I don't contribute in some way or another to the friendship ending....but for me to ALWAYS take total responsibility....that's not even being fair to myself.

#4 - Sometimes the relationship has to end because it's just not good for us...physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
As Christians, we need to ask God to give us "
Sometimes it's just getting that "uh-oh" feeling.
Know what I mean???
It's like "uh-oh", this just doesn't feel right...maybe I need to take a step back and examine this friendship/relationship a bit deeper!!!
Maybe the other person is involved in things that are totally out of our character, or their language isn't like ours, they go places we don't believe in, etc.
Does this mean we shouldn't at least be "friendly"?
No....but, we don't need to remain friends with these people because of the chance of their lifestyle "rubbing off" on us!!!
Like my Mom used to always tell me when I was a teenager:
"birds of a feather flock together"!!!!
(Notice how all of the things my Mom taught me are coming back around full circle?!?!?)
#5 - Never think that you can change a person - So many times when we become friends with somebody and they're nothing "like" us...we think we can change them. I've learned that first of all...they have to want to change....and secondly...God is the only One who can make a true change in a person!!! We might be able to have a positive influence on them, and make them want what we have, if we're Christians....but we can never change a person!!!!!

#6 - Think back on past relationships that have ended.
Do you remember why they ended???
Think about the circumstances and the people involved.
Would it have been beneficial to you to have remained in the friendship/relationship...would it have helped you grow spiritually, or would it have been a hindrance to your walk with the Lord???
Have you learned from it?
Did it help you make better choices the next time?

#7 - Think about relationships/friendships you're involved in right now...
and, ask yourself some of the same questions in #6.
Is it beneficial to you to remain friends with this person?
Are they helping you, encouraging you, supporting you?
Do you feel like you're giving 99% to their 1%?

I know that it hurts all of us to see things come to an end with those we've loved, confided in, shared a part of our lives with. I'm still hurting over some relationships that I truly thought would continue....hurt from people not caring after I spent so much time and effort on them. often people drift apart because life just gets in the way....or, one will make a huge mistake that just seems unforgivable....jealousy comes into play....guilt....greed...etc.!!!
Does this mean that we never need to make new friends....should we just be a loner and never share our hearts and feelings with anybody???
No....I consider TRUE friends blessings....blessings from God!!! one of you mentioned...never forget about how much our families love us and how we are blessed to have them....focus on the relationships that are working...not on the ones that have ended!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you....
from the very bottom of my heart....
for sharing your hearts with me!!!

In His Love...and with mine!!!


  1. I have lost some friends in the past yes due to circumstances, also those BFF we made in school, always say we'll be there forever no matter what, but due to life we grew apart, still in touch with those school BFF's but not like it use to be. But now I'd like to thank our Lord and Savior for the New Friends that I have made over the last year to several months and have a relationship with and am truly excited about and blessed with these New relationships. Some would say "count my lucky stars", I say count on my Lord and Savior for He did all the work to bring these special friends in to my life.

  2. awesome post! so many people in my lives. . .my thoughts are scattered.

    there are people that i give more to, and get nothing. i've still held onto.

    thoughts are still running wild, but i enjoyed reading this.


Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24