WARNING:
LONG WINDED POST!!!
I've came across so many things lately that have to do with friendship. When Jess was little, she used to call everybody her friend. It was very difficult to make her understand what the true meaning of friend is. I'm not so sure that I understood it myself until I got much older. My Momma used to tell me that we were to love everybody, but that didn't mean we had to like them. I remember telling her that made no sense....but I know now that the love we have is a CHRISTian love....and not liking them is disapproving of how they live/act/talk!!!
It's so very difficult when we have to break off relationships.
Sometimes neither party is actually at "fault"....they just drift apart . Then, there are those friendships that just seem to pick up where they left off, no matter how many years go in between seeing one another. And, there are some that I truly feel were destined to fail from the beginning. The older I get the more I find it important to keep people at arm's length....at least until we get to know them better and discover whether we can actually put our trust in them. That realization came from being "burned" by people I thought were my friends. It's so very sad to be used. I remember when I was in high school, I had a major crush on a fellow who was in the same homeroom as a friend of mine. She told me to come to their homeroom class to visit her so I could be near him. I remember telling her that I couldn't do that because I felt it would be using her and she told me how much she appreciated that.
Sometimes neither party is actually at "fault"....they just drift apart . Then, there are those friendships that just seem to pick up where they left off, no matter how many years go in between seeing one another. And, there are some that I truly feel were destined to fail from the beginning. The older I get the more I find it important to keep people at arm's length....at least until we get to know them better and discover whether we can actually put our trust in them. That realization came from being "burned" by people I thought were my friends. It's so very sad to be used. I remember when I was in high school, I had a major crush on a fellow who was in the same homeroom as a friend of mine. She told me to come to their homeroom class to visit her so I could be near him. I remember telling her that I couldn't do that because I felt it would be using her and she told me how much she appreciated that.
Have I always handled every friendship that well?
I'm pretty certain I haven't!!!
A lady told me once that she is friends with everybody.
I don't believe that is possible....we can be friendly....and love others....but not true friends with everyone!
When it's time to end a friendship....I feel the Holy Spirit will let us know. That happened to me. I kept feeling in my spirit that something just wasn't right. As I shared my feelings, I was made to feel like I was paranoid....but I knew in my heart of hearts that something was wrong. Later on....God led me to find out that those feelings I had were definitely from HIM. That experience taught me to trust my instincts more....others' opinion less....and realize that His Holy Spirit will truly lead, guide, and direct!!!
Recently, I've thought a lot about the people in my life who really matter....
....my true friends and family members who are supportive!!! I learned so much about true friends when my Mamaw died and since Pappy lost his job.
Why the change in attitude, you might be wondering.
Misfortune shows those who are not truly friends.
~~~Aristotle~~~
Why the change in attitude, you might be wondering.
I'm not sure myself....other than perspective!!!
Trying to see things from God's perspective....other than a self-centered one!!!
I've always thought that if I tried hard enough, I could "fix" most everything!
But....sometimes God doesn't want me to try that hard....
....He wants me to let go and let Him handle the situation....
....and just continue to pray for all involved!!!
I've always thought that if I tried hard enough, I could "fix" most everything!
But....sometimes God doesn't want me to try that hard....
....He wants me to let go and let Him handle the situation....
....and just continue to pray for all involved!!!
I sincerely HOPE....that for my remaining years....I'll concentrate on those people in my life who really matter....instead of the regrets of things that didn't work out like I thought they would....or should....and realize how very blessed I am!!!
Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Hope you have a great Thursday, Sweet Reader!!!
In HIS Most Precious Love....and with mine!!!
A true friend....a treasure not found often in this life....though our heart may be pure and honest before a friend, the test will come when the friend we have been loyal too, honest with, and stood with during enemy oppostion rejects us...our heart will weap with painful tears of the loss but if we "be" wink wink wise, we will know to run to the prayer closet quickly so that the pain of rejection doesn't turn to bitterness! Let His Love His Friendship be that which brings healing to our fresh wound ...
ReplyDeleteHugs Deb.....change doth come....we must not fight against it, if one chooses to walk away ..then they are free with their chose...I shall not grow bitter b/c of their chose to walk away ...regardless of reason ....I shall remain a friend even if it is as you state, "arms length"....Happy Thursday!
Ms. Rhonda....there was a bitterness in my spirit for quite some time. The reason I wrote this post was to HOPEfully let others realize that the time spent in regret can be spent loving on those who really matter in your life....those who care and show that they care. There was a man from the church we left who has called us three times since Pappy lost his job to see if we need anything....when "friends" haven't even asked!! I'm not at all mad....just makes me sad....but realize even more that I am so very blessed with the true friends that I do have!!! Love you...and thanks for your awesome insight...as usual!!! ;-)
DeleteThank you very much for placing this post on Natural Mothers Network's linky: Seasonal Celebration! You helped make Seasonal Celebration a wealth of intelligent, creative and resourceful information and it's been such a pleasure for me and many others to read through each post. I am really looking forward to seeing you again Sunday evening or Monday! Rebecca x
ReplyDeleteI think we all go through this hard lesson of life at one time or another...but God uses it to teach us forgiveness. I like you are finally learning to lean on His wisdom and let Him direct the people He wants in my life.
ReplyDeleteA very thought provoking post; one I could spend some time pondering....
Ms. Nancy....I'm also a firm believer that EVERYTHING happens in our lives for a reason....to learn from....and to HOPEfully bring HIM glory by how we handle the situation!!! Thanks so much for your comment and insight!!! My followers are absolutely AWESOME!!!
DeleteI have come to realize that true friends are few and far between. I think that in the church there's a misconception that you have to be 'friends' with everyone...however, as I have passed through a very difficult situation with a person, I realize, I cannot possibly be their friend. I do have to forgive and move on....and love, because that is what God requires, but I do not have to be a friend. I think that is the point we have to remember.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing today.
Oh, Ms. Anita, your comment certainly hit home. I agree with the "misconception" that we have to be friends with someone just because we are in the same church. Leaving our church was one reason some of my "friends" turned away from me. They disagreed with the what we did, even though we knew it was the Holy Spirit prompting us to leave. I agree so whole heartedly that we cannot be friends with everybody....and God lets us know that....often the hard way!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!!
DeleteWhat a beautiful post filled with truth and honesty. Over the years we have learned who our true friends are...those that are there for us with a kind word a loving gesture. The Holy Spirit does lead us to discern and to be ready to help others when they need it the way we were helped in the same way. Praying for you and Pappy today.
ReplyDeleteYou used my 2012 word, Ms. Renee...."truth". Our SONday school teacher is teaching us to be transparent....not to try to let others think we're perfect....that we have faults and troubles and to be open and honest and share those with others. I recently read a devotional on how we should never present ourselves as a "Pollyanna"....that comment really hit home with me!!! Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I do truly care what others think....but it's much more important to me what my precious Lord and Savior thinks of me!!!
DeleteDeb, your post is so true. I think it's possible to love someone but not the things they are doing. I have several children that are not living good and productive lives. I love them with all the love a mother can have, but my heart is also grieved for their failure to be good people in Christ. The Lord has guided my husband and I to let them go completely out of our lives and to turn those children over to HIM! I've also learned that "it ain't over 'till it's over".
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wisdom!
Hi Deb,
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is difficult to know when to keep reaching out and when to close the door on a friendship, or more to the point, if Our Lord is closing the door. We can only pray and ask for guidance and to be forgiving.
Have a Blessed Weekend. It is very very cold and wintry here, not my favourite time of year, but for everything a season.
Hugs Nita.