{ Wednesday's Word - Peace }

peace

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   Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a deliberate state of psychological or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors; peace of mind, serenity, and calmness are descriptions of a disposition free from the effects of stress

{ Wednesday's Word - Grief }

grief

keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or 

loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret

a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow

Being transparent and open and honest is hard, but so often God asks to do hard things but with His help. I really don't want to be writing and sharing this because I feel like it makes me vulnerable for criticism and all sorts of other emotions, but I'm doing it anyway, hoping that someone else can relate realizing that you're not alone. 

I've been going through the stages of grief for quite some time and didn't even realize it until last Friday morning.  As God would have it, I "just happened" to watch an Instastory posted by a lady I follow. I had no idea that she would talk about grief before it was over, but she did, and she also prayed for those watching. As she spoke about the 5 stages of grief, I saw myself for a very long time going through each one of those powerful emotions and letting them cripple me and cause me to practically come to a stand-still in my life. I've allowed this to affect me physically and emotionally. I'm going to also say that it has affected my spiritual life, but I don't think that's been such a bad thing because it has caused me to cling even tighter to God's hand and His word has become sweeter to me. Each morning as I've poured my heart out to Him, He's whispered His precious comfort over my soul.  One of my very favorite things is to open up my Bible in the mornings and the feeling that comes over me often before I even read anything at all. It truly is a sweet aroma.

I'd like to share a few things that I've come to realize as I've pondered on these 5 stages of grief during the past week.

Denial 

My own denial is very selfish in thinking "how could this happen to me?" when in fact it should have been "why not me?". God uses the hard things to prune us and make us into better servants for Him to share our struggles with others.  That's something that isn't always easy for me because I have this tendency to want everybody to think my life is just perfect when in reality I'm a sinner and live in a sinful world. 

Anger

Y'all, I could write a book on this emotion. This doesn't even sound right to admit (remember the problem with perfection) but one thing I was angry about was I so wanted Pappy and me to share in some type of ministry after he retired and that hasn't happened. I won't go into detail all the other things that have caused so much anger and regret and deep sorrow, but all of those things have been there and it took practically nothing for them to surface.

Bargaining

This one's difficult to describe and maybe it didn't last long or wasn't even a part of this process at all. If you can call it bargaining, then it had to be my begging God to change the situation to what I wanted (selfish much?).


Depression

If you know me well, you know this is something I struggle with. This isn't something new and as I look back over my life, all the way to childhood, I know I've suffered bouts of depression for well over 50 years. During this battle it overcame me. You might wonder how in the world could she be a Christian if she admits to allowing herself to become depressed. Please know that I've asked myself that very same question over and over through the years. My consolation is remembering all those in the Bible who suffered from that same feeling of desperation.....
Moses, David (a man after God's own heart), Job (and Job's wife), Elijah, Jeremiah (the weeping prophet)

I believe the Bible lets us know about the depression and desperation these great saints went through as an example to us - after all, isn't that what the Bible is for?

Acceptance

From what I've read we can go through all of the first 4 emotions in any given order, but the final one is acceptance. Does this mean that we like how things are going, how our life turned out, that we don't get "our way"? Absolutely not. We realize there are situations and folks in our life that are completely out of our control. We accept that God has a greater plan and we have no idea the "why" of the way things are going. My own greatest acceptance is that He loves me and cares about how I suffer, but that He is using it for His glory!

If you're reading this and you're in the midst of grief, or just coming out of it, or like me and don't even realize you're grieving, let me pray for you. I've shared some of my struggles with very close friends whom I knew would pray for me and keep my confidence. Find such a friend for yourself. I'll be glad to pray for you in confidence if you would like to e-mail me at wiseoldowldesigns@comcast.net.

Thank you, sweet Friends, for listening and praying for me. 
I so appreciate all your kind comments and prayers and love. 

HOPE each of you has a Wonderful Wednesday full of blessings!

{ Wednesday's Word and THANK-full Thursday }

providence

**the protective care of God as a spiritual power

  

My precious Aunt Delores passed away last Friday morning.  She was only 7 years older than me and was more like a big sister than an Aunt. My heart is broken and I'm on the verge of tears now as I recall the last few days. Probably the worst of it was going alone to tell Momma that she had lost her sister, one of the most difficult things I've ever done along with watching her grieve in her confusion and trying to comfort her the last few days.

I want to share some things that I'm still so very thank-full for that have transpired since I got this news last Friday morning.

Our daughter and son-in-love have taken a weekend getaway during October or November for the last several years and we are blessed to get to keep all four of our grandkiddos.  That was this past weekend and I was at their house when I received the phone call about my Aunt. If I hadn't had the kiddos all weekend to occupy my mind and my time, oh how much worse it would have been.

God had already worked it out!

I had made Mom an appointment to get a much-needed perm and haircut. I scheduled that for Tuesday because I had planned to attend an "oils of the Bible" class on Monday. Usually, Mom will keep putting things like that off, but she wasn't reluctant at all to go. The appointment got rescheduled for Monday because of a conflict so I told my sister-in-law I wouldn't be able to attend the class. Guess what?  The class got postponed until next Monday.

God had already worked it out!

My Aunt's funeral was scheduled for Tuesday so it was best that Mom went to the hairdresser on Monday so she wouldn't be so worn out by Tuesday night.

God had already worked it out!

Even during the most difficult of times, God is right there with us holding our hands, giving us the strength to do the hard things, pointing out things to us in His Word, granting us grace and helping us show that same grace to others, showering us with love and kindness in ways that only He can.

Some folks have referred to me as being too religious, from the "religious side of the family", thinking that I'm more spiritual than them or a "know it all".  Religion is so totally different than having a personal relationship with the Savior and I in no way think I'm better than anybody. In fact, if you really knew me, you'd discover so many flaws and insecurities, but oh, how I love Jesus.  I'm reminded of a favorite verse in Jeremiah, and would you believe it's not 29:11.....

I'm still in awe of His divine providence and how much He loves me.....

and you!

{ Wednesday's Word - JOY }

joy

a feeling of great pleasure and happiness

If we don't feel well physically or emotionally it'll often lead us to see our medical doctor. Those things can very often affect our spiritual life, too, and that's where I've been for way too long. I've tried on my own to get through a difficult situation and it was getting me nowhere. I told myself that I would "give it to the Lord", but I picked it right back up again and again and attempted to handle it on my own. I use the word "attempted" because I in no way could do it by myself and it was beginning to take a huge toll on me in all three ways.....

physical, mental and especially spiritual.

I shared with two different people this past weekend how I was desperately needing my JOY back. Wouldn't you know that God had a plan all along when He prompted my precious Friend to send me a "care package" that included a Bible study about JOY!

"Circumstances have a way of conspiring to leech the joy right out of our days. 

Even though we know joy is our rightful heritage from the Lord, 

we live as if we have never known joy's presence. 

We long for joy as if it were something far off and unobtainable. 

But joy isn't really a matter of receiving something new, but of discovering what has always been there. 

For believers, sometimes discovering joy is simply a matter of opening our eyes to a new way of seeing."

Contagious Joy - by Christa Kinde

In my heart I know that someone else reading this is in need of a restoration of your JOY.  

Take heart, sweet Sister or Brother, 

JOY truly does come in the morning.....

 and in the mourning.  

It might not be today or tomorrow, but since God's timeline is not like ours He will surely restore our JOY if we'll just ask and persevere and believe and once and for all lay it at His feet! 

{ Wednesday's Word - Relevant }

relevant

1. 
   
   

   closely connected or appropriate to what is being done or considered

   
   

   
   

   appropriate to the current time, period, or circumstances 

I woke up yesterday morning tired.  Not just physically tired, but mentally exhausted.  I hadn't slept well and for a period of time just lay there thinking, something not good for me at all because I have a tendency to overthink each and every situation.  I was in the kitchen fixing my coffee and I said a prayer asking God to speak to me through the Proverb I was about to read. My coffee finished and I headed to the living room, got settled into my comfy chair, picked up my Bible, turned to Proverbs and this is what my eyes fell upon as I read chapter 30.....

It wasn't that exact version, but as tears filled my eyes I whispered a prayer of thankfulness because we serve an all-knowing, ever-seeing Savior who loves us dearly and realizes how weary we get sometimes and the ONLY way we can get through this life full of problems and struggles and difficulties is with the strength that comes from our faith in Jesus! 
💜

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{ Wednesday's Words - Self-Control }

self-control

 

1. the ability to control oneself, in particular, one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations.  
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3.    A fruit of the Spirit - Galatians 5:23

Yesterday was an absolutely awesome day.  Pappy and I were privileged to see The Ark Encounter in Kentucky with our Special Friends from church and we had the most glorious day. The weather was beautiful and we couldn't have asked for a better van driver and I made a new friend who is the Mom of one of our kids. If there ever was a "perfect" day, then yesterday was just that. I'll share a few pics on Friday.

What I want to share with Y'all is where we ate.  There's a restaurant on site that is a buffet to beat all buffets, Emzara's Kitchen. They must have been trying to prepare a "banquet table" like in the Bible.  I'm truly not good at eating at those type of places because there's just so much food and it's "free" for one price and you can go back as many times as you want and.....

well, you get the picture.

I limited myself and tried to eat lots of veggies and only took a couple of bites of dessert because I know that I truly have an addiction to sugar and if I get started I can't seem to quit.

(if you are in the same boat, you really need to read "Sweet Freedom" by Teresa Shields-Parker - it's awesome at explaining this addiction and is a story of her journey)

Anyway - this is going to be a long story, obviously - I did limit myself, but it was difficult. I really wanted to go back and get more of the fish and meatballs, neither of which were bad for me.....

in moderation - and that's something I seem to struggle with the most, especially when it comes to carbs and eating at night.

Because of our daughter's own journey with issues related to "sugar" and things she's gleaned from her reading and shared with me, I've discovered that intermittent fasting is something that is helpful for so many conditions. There are several ways to do this, but for me what seems to work out best is setting an 8-hour window of when I can eat.  Y'all, I'm not doing this for weight loss, which is supposed to be an added benefit. I'm doing it so that I can better gain control of my eating habits, which are not good. I want to eat EVERYTHING in sight in the evenings and that's the worse time of the day to eat, right, because we're supposed to eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and supper like a pauper! Plus - fasting is mentioned so many times in the Bible, so it's there for a reason!

I woke up this morning with part of a verse of scripture on my mind.....

"put a knife to your throat"

Since we were up so early yesterday morning (5 AM) and home so late that I just fell into bed, I failed to read my daily proverb.  When I opened my Bible this morning to read yesterday's and today, my eyes immediately fell upon these verses I had underlined.....

Proverbs 23:2-3

If you are a big eater,

put a knife to your throat;

don't desire all the delicacies,

for he might be trying to trick you.

"Put a knife to your throat" is a way of saying.....

"Use some self-control, Deb! 

God is so good, Y'all!

I love how He speaks to us so gently and through things in our everyday life because He loves us so much - 

even through a huge buffet of food. 

Happy Wednesday, Everybody!

{ Wednesday's Words - Rinse, Repeat }

rinse, repeat

 

1. used to indicate the continual repetition of an action or sequence of event

Our three older grand kiddos have chores they're responsible for every day and one of them has to be told repeatedly to do theirs.  This is a source of frustration for our daughter and for the child, to have to be told over and over to do something.  I thought about this situation when my daily devotion this morning led me to Deuteronomy 31:8 where Moses is speaking to the children of Israel and he tells them.....

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, 

for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.

He will be with you.

He will neither fail nor abandon you."

As I turned in my Bible to read this verse I noticed right above it I had highlighted verse 6.....

"So be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.

For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.

He will neither fail you nor abandon you."

Moses repeated himself to the Israelites to get his point across that no matter what they were facing God wasn't going to just leave them helpless. He would be right there with them in the midst of whatever they were facing, in the good times and in the bad. He knew there would be times they would get discouraged and that hasn't changed for us today.  

Obviously, God has to "rinse, repeat" His promises to me over and over again, too. He led me to the above verses today and yesterday this is the one He put on my heart.....

 He's ALWAYS there, even in those times that it might not feel like it. If that happens with me, it's definitely not HIM, but Deb who's getting in the way. There are lessons to be learned and faith needs to be nurtured and grown so that when the NEXT issue pops up.....

because there will certainly be another one.....

we'll be better equipped to handle it and can look back on what He's already walked us through!

Ain't God good?

Oh, yes He is!

HOPE your Wednesday is wonderfully blessed!

{ Wednesday's Word - Walk }

walk

an act of traveling or an excursion on foot

I chose this definition of the word walk because it is applicable to what I'm gonna share with Y'all today. 

 I've talked about the struggles before that I've had with my weight for as long as I can remember, no matter my size. My growing up years were difficult and as a teenager I became anorexic. It actually had nothing to do with food or my weight, it was just the only thing in my life that I felt I had any control over at the time and it affected my health.  I've tried almost every single "diet" you can think of, some of them very unhealthy and some quite expensive, just in an attempt to look better, feel better, be accepted, fit in, and probably a hundred more crazy reasons. I used to walk for exercise, but the last few years have found me out of the habit with one excuse after another for not just getting out of the house and doing it.  One day last week, out of the blue, our oldest grandson asked if I still walked like I used to and I sadly had to tell him no. Then, a friend, understanding some of the stress I've been under told me that I needed to get out and walk. That reminded me of how Pappy used to tell me I needed to go for a walk when I'd get.....

let's just use the word "cranky"!

Neither our grandson or my friend knew that I'd been having that nagging feeling to get out and walk, knowing the physical and emotional benefits.....

and the spiritual because I take that time to pray and meditate on the Lord.  Add to this that I had bloodwork done on Monday and my overall cholesterol is high, although my "good" is 84, I want to get that number lowered through diet (healthy) and walking.

   Life can be a struggle sometimes but the burden can be lessened when we share it with friends!   I've come across this quote twice lately and it seems applicable to use today.

"Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. 

Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide."

~ ~ Morgan Nichols ~ ~

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     a heavy object, especially one being lifted or carried.

43 pounds less than my highest weight;

my goal is to lose 20-25 more

{ Wednesday's Word - Wait }

wait

verb

1. stay where one is or delay action until    a particular time or until something else happens

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noun

1. a period of waiting

Pappy and I are reading through the Psalms this summer and yesterday's reading was Psalm 139, probably my very favorite of them. As I read my daily devotion in the Journey magazine, the scripture reference was Psalm 139:16.  As I read a little farther I came across the word "wait" and I'd already planned to focus on that word today.  It seems that's the season we're in right now - waiting on others to make decisions before we can move forward. Here's part of what I read.....

"If you find yourself in a seemingly never-ending season of suffering and waiting, take heart - it will end. In the meantime, do the important work of sowing your tears. Take your pain to the Father, who bottles each and every one of your tears and stores them (Psalm 56:8). Not one of them goes unnoticed.  And then wait with anticipation for your harvest of joy. (Psalm 126:5)"

~~Sowing in Tears - by Emily Chadwell~~

I'm so grateful that my HOPE is in the Lord.....

not people!

HOPE your Wednesday is wonderfully blessed!

{ Wednesday's Word - Justice }

justice

just behavior or treatment - a concern for justice, peace, and genuine respect for people

synonyms: fairness, justness, fair play, fair-mindedness, equity, evenhandedness, impartiality, objectivity, neutrality, honesty, righteousness, morals, morality

I've had the word "justice" on my mind so much lately because of something that Pappy and I are going through and also another family member who was wronged.  We are reading through the Psalms this summer and it never ceases to surprise me at how David so boldly asks the Lord to destroy his enemies, to hurt them, to cast down evil on them. I've never done that and don't have it in my heart to do it, but Y'all, David was a man after God's own heart - it tells us that in the Bible - so I'm boldly asking the Lord to expose those who are in the wrong, to bring to light their injustices and that with all the HOPE in my heart that we have shown HIS love to all those involved.

Before Pappy went out to get some work done he put the TV on a YouTube channel playing all Big Daddy Weave songs and when this one came on I knew it was God speaking to me through it. What He deems as justice surely isn't the same as the way I see it - because His ways are far above and beyond mine. But I do know that He showed His most precious grace and mercy on me when I accepted the gift of Jesus!

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin;

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins;

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in.

Oh, to tell you my story is to tell of Him!

HOPE your Wednesday is wonderful, sweet Friends!

{ Wednesday's Word - Reflection }

reflection

1.  the throwing back by a body or surface of light

2. serious thought or consideration

1. 
   

1. I was at Mom's early yesterday morning and this was my view from where I was sitting.....

It was fairly early and the sun was beginning to get bright and the front door was open - this was the light coming through the storm door and casting the reflections on the opposite wall. Just as in so many things in our lives that happen, or God allows us to witness, I feel He was teaching me a life lesson and I was so glad that I took the time to listen - something I'm not always good at.

Seeing those shadows caused me to reflect on some things going on in my life. Because I know those are the scrolls on Mom's storm door and her table lamp that the light is reflecting off of I can make out certain things on the door and wall, but they're definitely not clear. There are so many things in this life that I totally can't understand or see clearly the whole picture.  Like why some people develop certain illnesses and others remain healthy in body and mind; why people who are trying to live a quiet life have to endure somebody breaking in and stealing their belongings; why some folks can go through their life being so dishonest - do they not have a fraction of a conscience; why folks say or do things that can be so hurtful, and for that matter why I act the way I do sometimes (yes, God was reprimanding me - a good Father does that you know)

There are so many things that I'd like to have a complete understanding of but know I probably never will - at least not in this life. God just asks me to trust. Trust Him with all the details. Put my hand in His and allow Him to lead me, to protect me, to work in the hearts of those who aren't honest, to do my best to take care of what I'm able through the strength He gives me and lay all the rest at His feet.

Y'all, just typing those words seem to lift a burden from my shoulders!